I’ve always been the type of person that loves everyone, and tries to find the good in people, even when others cannot. It is because of this that I have had a lot of people in my life for the wrong reasons. Either they were trying to replace someone in their own life with me, or just use me because they knew I would always be there when they needed me. It took me a while to realize how unhealthy this was for me. It was also somewhat painful because if eventually one of my “friends” didn’t need me anymore, didn’t need the constant advice and love, things would change a lot. I really came to realize that I was just a stand in until they fixed things with the person they were really missing.
Now this is not to say this has happened with all or a lot of my friends. That is not the case at all. I am very lucky to have a great group of supportive, adventurous, loving friends. This is just a select few that were literally sucking the life out of me. When it was happening, I was so consumed that I couldn’t even see it happening. Other people around me could though. I was warned many times but I wanted to believe that I was needed and that I wouldn’t be the one suffering in the end.
Well, today I woke up with this great feeling. I have been struggling with letting go of people or relationships for a while, but this morning I just had this overwhelming feeling that I was ready. And let me tell you it is the best, most freeing, and empowering feeling ever. I’m not sure if it is because I am about to start on this new journey with school, that I just realized I had been dragged through the mud enough, or that it was just time to let go. Whatever it was I am thankful.
Moving forward with taking the next steps in my career I know that I don’t want any extra baggage or drama. Nothing that will hold me down or distract me. Which is why I am so glad that my head and heart are finally in agreement. You see letting go of something that once meant so much to you (or so you thought at the time) isn’t always a bad thing. (its not easy either) I for one know that I am not the same person I am now, as I was 4/5 years ago. Heck I am not even the same person I was 2 years ago. We grow, find our voices, and then we move on.
All I know is that I am SO excited for what my future holds, and I am ready to tackle life head on. I am so ready (and a little nervous) for this next adventure of finishing school and starting my dream job. I woke up this morning ready to fill my life with only: hope, faith, love, and adventure.
To my friends, and friends who have become my family, thank you for all your advice, love, support, and good times. I am so blessed to have you in my life. -You know who you are-
“At some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not your life” –Unknown